When do I send a thank you note?
You can never say thank you too much for anything. One of the first things you teach a child is to say thank you. Even if you’ve thanked the “giver” in person, or sent a quick text acknowledging a gift or thanks for a dinner is great, there is something to be said for taking a moment to put pen to paper and thanking the person for taking the time out of their day to do something for you. Plus, who doesn’t love getting mail that’s not a bill?!
How to get started?
Stationery doesn’t have to be fancy! Here are a few of my favorite spots to find cards:
- Trader Joe’s
- Target Dollar Spot
- Near the check-out at Michael’s, TJ Maxx, Hobby Lobby, and Christmas Tree Shops
Stationery can also be an investment. From Minted to your local print shop you can find pretty much any level of customization you’d like. The thing to remember is the important part of the process is actually writing the note and dropping it in the mail!
What should you say?
Well, make sure to start with saying thank you! Touch on the gift, and what you plan to do with it or why the act of service meant a lot to you. Make it personal — follow-up with any additional details about your life. If it’s a great-aunt who you never see, tell her about your new job! If it’s your best friend and she’s up-to-date on your daily life, remind her how awesome she is based on what she’s accomplished lately.
When you should you send the note?
While it’s never to late to say thank you, try to aim for these time frames:
- Celebrations (Birthdays, Christmas, Graduation, Holidays, etc.)
- 1-2 weeks after the gift arrives/is delivered/received
- Events (dinner parties, overnight trips, etc.)
- Within the week of the event
- Showers
- Aim for 2-3 weeks after a shower to have your thank you notes in the mail. Don’t forget the hostess!
- Wedding gifts
- While technically you have 3 months from the date of your wedding to send a thank you note, your friends and family want to know you’ve received their gift. Try to aim for a 1 month turn around time for gifts that arrive before the wedding and 2-3 months to have all the thank you notes sent out after the wedding. If you think you might take longer, acknowledge you got the gift with a quick text, and follow-up with the formal thank you note later.
- Condolences or Illnesses
- For food, flowers, or a donation, try to send a note within a month or so. You don’t need to write a note for sympathy cards or visits unless you’d like too. It’s appropriate for a close friend or family member to write the notes on the recipient’s behalf.
Keeping an address book
Whether it’s in an EXCEL file on your laptop, your contact list on your phone, a traditional book, or online service, it makes it easier to send correspondence if you don’t have to track down the person’s address! While you could text to ask, it’s nice to have central repository to gather the information. There are services you can use to gather addresses for a weddings, parties, etc. although I haven’t personally tried them.
Gift Giving and Receiving
For large milestones, it’s helpful to keep track of who gave you what and if you’ve sent the thank you note yet. For graduations, weddings, baby showers, etc. consider keeping a small notebook to record the gifts at in person events or a list on your computer. I also find it helpful to record gifts I’ve given — when your family member is graduating, it’s nice to remember what you gave another family member for a similar event a few years ago, and prevents giving someone the same thing twice (which I’ve done!).
